


Untitled Goose Crossover

by Silex



Category: Ancient Greek Religion & Lore, Untitled Goose Game (Video Game)
Genre: Crack Crossover, Flash Fic, Gen, Humor, Trick or Treat: Treat
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-10-31
Updated: 2019-10-31
Packaged: 2021-01-13 16:37:03
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 777
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21175805
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Silex/pseuds/Silex
Summary: The goose has been causing trouble across all manner of fandoms, the Greek pantheon is no exception.





	Untitled Goose Crossover

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Gammarad](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Gammarad/gifts).

_Make the smith burn his thumb_

Hephaestus stood up as straight as he could and stretched. The shield he was working on was coming along nicely, the metal ringing bell-like with each strike of his hammer, which was good. The resonance was slightly off key, but the shield was far from done and in time it would be a lovely thing, a fitting gift for…

He hadn’t decided who he was going to give it to yet. Several of his relatives all thought it was for them and he was taking his time deciding which of them, if any was correct. Having them stop by to pay him compliments was always a fine thing and he was going to enjoy it for as long as he could.

The metal was still warm enough from the forge that he could keep working it a little longer. He had to be careful though, this was a delicate point in the process. The sound the shield made was an important part of it, he wanted it to ring with pure, sweet notes, with each sword blow it deflected.

Hephaestus reached for another of his hammers, this one of a slightly different heft, a difference only he was skilled enough to recognize.

It was gone.

The soft sound of padded feet could be heard over the sound of the flames of his forge.

Expecting trickery he turned, hammer ready.

Sure enough it was the large white bird that had been causing him no end of strife.

It looked at him with beady black eyes, honked defiantly and then resumed dragging the hammer he’d been looking for across the floor.

Looking for something he didn’t care about to throw at it he came up empty-handed and began to hobble after it.

The bird flapped its wings and shuffled backwards faster, managing to drag the hammer under a bench, before fleeing to the far end of the room.

Swearing, Hephaestus bent down to retrieve the tool and get back to work, only to discover that now the shield was missing.

That terrible bird! Whoever had sent it to plague him would pay. He just needed to figure out who that was. Unlike many of his relatives he was more targeted in his revenge. The last thing he needed was to blame the wrong person and then have them looking to get him back.

He would need to ask around to see which of his siblings was angry at him this time.

Fortunately the bird didn’t manage to get very far, though by the time he retrieved the shield the metal was too cool for him to continue working.

That was easy enough to remedy, and perhaps he was rushing too much with this project of his.

He should slow down, take his time, concentrate on what he was doing and nothing else, especially not that horrible bird, which was now watching him expectantly.

No, best to ignore it.

He reached for his tongs and was irritated to discover that they weren’t in their usual spot.

Hephaestus looked at the bird.

It looked back at him and flapped its wings.

Keeping an eye on it to make sure it didn’t get into some new mischief Hephaestus searched for his tongs.

Finding them didn’t take long, they were on the ground in front of forge.

Had he dropped them there when the bird started harassing him?

That seemed like a reasonable assumption.

Still watching the bird, he grabbed his tongs.

An instant later profanity echoed through the smithy.

They hadn’t been on the floor because he’d dropped them. Somehow they’d been left inside it and had fallen out.

_ <strike>Make the smith burn his thumb</strike> _

The bird was to blame, he knew it, but by the time he calmed down enough to look for it it had vanished.

_Make Hera smite a tree._

High on Mount Olympus Hera looked askance at her throne. Something wasn’t right.

There was a bouquet of flowers sitting on it. Zeus never anything nice like that unless he wanted something from her.

Or when he’d done something wrong.

She looked closer at the flowers.

They were rhododendron blossoms, harmless in and of themselves, but they got her thinking. Zeus had been talking about how lovely one tree in the gardens was.

Lovely and shapely she thought he’d said.

Or maybe exotic and shapely.

At the time she’d agreed, but now that she considered how much time he’d been spending in the gardens and his tendency to let his eyes wander she wondered

He’d been so well behaved lately, but this wouldn’t be the first time a tree had caught his attention…

**Author's Note:**

> The working title for this fic, and by that I mean the name I gave the file before I even started writing, was _untitled Zeus fic_ then I changed my mind and started writing in a random direction.

**Works inspired by this one:**

  * [[Podfic of] Untitled Goose Crossover](https://archiveofourown.org/works/24060277) by [carboncopies](https://archiveofourown.org/users/carboncopies/pseuds/carboncopies)


End file.
